Last night on Dancing with the Stars... I was dismayed. Niecy Nash... a lovely, voluptuous woman, by NO means morbidly obese, was the butt of a few fat jokes during the program...
Let me just say this... to all the people that think it's okay to tease someone about ANYthing that may be "wrong" with them,
"SHUT UP!"
Ahem...
I have news for Len, Chad and her partner Louie...SHE can make fun of her weight... YOU can't... It's just the way it is!!!
She handled it with grace and aplomb...and didn't seem to take offense to any of it... but inside... I know EXACTLY what she was feeling... EXACTLY...
When Len said... "Look, it's no secret you are an enthusiastic eater." and when Chad said his "food" comment, and when Louie mentioned he "Knows what Niecy must feel like" when someone tries to take her food away...
I CRINGED! Do they not hear themselves? The worse part??? MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of people were watching!!!
My Mama underwent knee replacement surgery early this morning... and I'm in the waiting room writing this... and when my Mama was being wheeled into the OR, a man, with the most visibly horrific warts and bumps all over his face and body was wheeled in her place, it was difficult to watch, but more difficult to turn away. That poor man... covered in huge, quarter sized warts from head to toe...I'm sure has heard some doozies in his time...
and I'm not trying to compare being overweight and dealing with unthinking, crude people, to being covered in warts and growths and being ridiculed... no... no comparison needed... the growths are much less the "norm"...
But what I'm getting at is... Does that poor man need to be REMINDED that he has those things? What does it do for the person speaking, to state the obvious? Does it elevate the speaker in any way?
I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I have mirrors. I KNOW.. all too well what my reflection is. I don't need reminders... from anyone. When I make jokes and commentary about my weight... I'M ALLOWED... YOU are not. Plain and simple.
Supermodels think they have stuff wrong with them. When they bring it up...it's a way of coping or dealing with the issue... when someone else does.. they get offended... it's just the way it is!
Whether fat, skinny, short, tall, warted, hairless, whatever... rest assured... that person KNOWS it.
I have a relative, that everytime she see's me she says... "You look the same Sandra!"... After a while... I got hip to the jive... at first I thought she was telling me I still looked young.. I don't see her very often... but a couple of years ago, she made that same comment, and turned around and mentioned that it "would take a miracle" to get me slim down. It hurt. It hurt because... 1. she has NO place to talk...not being thin herself... 2. She didn't ever see "me" she saw my "weight". She hasn't seen me since before I lost this 80 lbs... so the next time I see her, it'll be interesting... but words hurt...
I know it sounds like I'm being ultra sensitive... and maybe I am... but I believe EVERYONE can understand where I'm coming from... because we've all had things said to our faces that we just can't believe someone could say!!! I'm talking about grown ups... not kid speak... that different...
Making jokes about someone IS NOT the way to deliver care and concern about someone... its hurtful, rude and crass. Calling someone an "enthusiastic eater" SOUNDS like a nice way of saying "PIG"... but it's not.
Len... I give you a "1" as your score... Chad, I really liked you... until last night... you get a big, FAT "0" as your score...and Louie... well... you are just plain, well... I THINK you meant well... so you get a "4".
Class up... Dancing with the Stars... Carrianne and Bruno are no gems... but I'm surprised at Len... I hope they all apologize tonight...
Let's be kind to each other... let it be...
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
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When I was a teenager I was very thin. So thin that people would come up to me and say, "OMG you are sooooo skinny!" (They didn't mean it as a compliment, and I was always so embarrassed) I could never understand how they could be so rude. I would have never said to a friend/acquaintance/stranger "OMG you are soooo fat!"
ReplyDeleteI agree... we all know what we look like. And we need to accept one another and be kind.
Great post Saundra. I saw that last night on DWTS and thought the same thing about Len. Just rude. I think Niecy is amazing on the show!
I hope your mom is doing okay after her surgery. I'll say a little prayer for a speedy recovery!
btw... did you get my e-mail?
Saundra, How true your words are. You are right in that we all know just how we look. We don't need anyone else to remind us. Whatever happened to "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all"??
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your blogs. I really look forward to reading each day.
Well said Saundra. We are working on our problems but they dont know this.. but it doesnt matter. What goes around comes around.. hurt? oh my yes.. I have had plenty of that being the chubby one. I hope finally before I leave this earth for someone to say.. oh my, you are too skinny. LOL.
ReplyDeleteHope your Mom is doing ok. Its so nice that you can be with her. I know that means alot to her. Hugs.. Kathie in Fl.